11 | August 21, 2020

11

Eddie, Eddie,

I did not see that little devil sitting on your shoulder, but now I do. Would you really be so unkind as to get a little “yappy” (I am presuming that’s what you call a puppy in your millennial slang) in trouble? A poor innocent soul, that will probably look up to you as a role model? Tch tch. More reason to attend my workshop. I have now added an “Emotions” module to it, as I see so many of you dogs and cats need to develop an EQ. (Emotional Quotient - for you ignorant ones).

As far as Pickles goes, he is quite tolerable now and I will have you know, I have taken him under my wing to make a proper cat out of him. He’s learning quickly.

About my being proper. What is wrong with it? What makes you think I don’t have fun? Eddie darling, not all of us need to roll in the mud and slush to have fun. We can have an equal amount of  fun watching you dogs make a fool of yourself, rolling in the mud and laughing at you while sipping on a cool glass of milk with a sardine in it. The perfect cocktail it makes. 

I do laugh from my heart Ed, but to hear and feel my heartfelt laughter, I would suggest an evening of cocktails and stories of your antics. That would be sure to get more than a few laughs out of me!

I am not a secret member of the Labour party, no, but since we are friends now, I should let you know that i am in fact a member of a very coveted secret organisation. I can’t tell you the name of this organisation, because if I told you, I’d have to kill you. You get the hint, Ed?

Yours laughingly (from the heart),

Socks